This paper is included because it is the first comprehensive overview of the scientific literature in psychology, sociology, behavior, canine behavioral science, and evolutionary biology to address the topic of the profound change in relationships between humans and pet owners over recent decades. The authors conclude that “dog parenting can also coexist with child parenting, enhancing the idea that humans might have evolved to care for others regardless of species.” The 2 authors, one a biologist and ethologist and the other a social psychologist, both at one of the foremost institutions for research on canine behavior and canine/human interactions in the world, are particularly well suited for a review of this scope. Gillet and Kybinyi fully acknowledge multiple perspectives, including both papers that consider the changes in human/canine relationships to be beneficial to individuals and society and those that don’t. The authors review how the relationship may have had its origins in practical tasks like guarding, herding, and hunting, later developing into a companion relationship, then into dogs frequently being considered full-fledged family members. Gillet and Kybinyi point to large body of research showing that a growing number of people view their relationship with their dogs as like that between a child and a parent, pointing to how people now commonly refer to themselves as “pet parents,” engaging in activities like dog birthday celebrations, providing homemade treats, and enjoying dog-friendly outings.
Human behavior, the authors explain, including the way people care for dogs, is influenced by both biological and cultural evolution. While biological evolution happens very slowly through survival and reproductive advantage conferred by various traits, cultural evolution moves much faster through learning and social norms. In the past, living with dogs may have helped humans survive and reproduce. But today, the authors contend that how people live with dogs is influenced more by culture than by biology, making it an important topic in the field of social psychology.
The authors adopt some of the popular language that has evolved around this changing relationship, referring to “dog parents” and “fur babies.” These word choices demonstrate the relative speed of cultural versus biological evolution, since language is probably the fastest evolving aspect of culture. Many studies raise interesting questions about the role of pet parenting in in human life—especially in societies where birth rates are dropping. Some argue that owning a dog may signal good parenting skills or help people practice care-taking, possibly even increasing their chances of starting a family. Others suggest that devoting time and emotional energy to dogs could actually discourage close relationships with people or delay childbearing altogether. So, dog ownership might not always support biological reproduction.
Since in many modern societies, people have fewer children, live farther from family, and have more freedom to follow personal preferences, the authors point out that pets can provide an outlet for healthy nurturing impulses. Dog parenting may fulfill emotional needs and offer a way to nurture, the outcome that is the focus here, rather than the as yet unsettled question of what effect, if any, this may have on rates of human reproduction.
This nurturing relationship is facilitated by how much dogs resemble young children in many ways, the subject of a large and growing body of research: they form strong emotional bonds, depend on their caregivers, and display traits that trigger caregiving responses. But unlike children, dogs never become independent, and the caregiver maintains complete control over their lives. Dogs also live shorter lives, so owners may have several dogs over their lifetime. This raises questions about whether dogs can or should be seen as child substitutes and what that means for our relationships with them. The paper ultimately calls for new ways of understanding the evolving human-dog bond as human social relationships continue to evolve.
One of the most frequently researched similarities between children and dogs is seen in the attachments formed between both children and dogs with their caregivers. In human children, attachment involves seeking comfort and protection during distress, using the caregiver as a secure base for exploration, and displaying distress when separated. Dogs appear to form similar bonds. When tested in various adaptations of the Ainsworth Strange Situation Test—originally developed for human infants and toddlers—dogs show distress when their owners leave, joy upon their return, and more confidence in exploring or solving problems when the owner is present.
Like children, dogs show different attachment styles. Some experience anxiety when separated from their owners, showing signs of distress and having difficulty calming down after reunions, resembling what is categorized as an insecure-ambivalent attachment between a child and their caregiver. Research suggests that the owner’s personality and behavior, such as being overly permissive or emotionally distant, can influence how securely attached a dog becomes. This deep interspecies connection highlights how dogs can fulfill complex emotional roles in human lives.
The way people care for and teach their dogs often mirrors parenting styles used with children. Parenting research has identified two key elements: responsiveness (warmth and emotional availability) and demandingness (setting rules and limits). These two traits shape parenting styles—classified as authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive—which influence a child’s development and attachment. Recent research shows these same styles may also apply to dog parenting.
Dog owners show similar behavior patterns similar to those of parents. Some are more controlling, others focus on emotional connection, and some balance affection with learning goals. These styles influence how dogs behave and develop. For example, dogs with owners who prioritize a balance between affection and limits to be more social and better at problem-solving.
There are also strong parallels in communication. In research that goes back decades, people have been shown to talk to dogs like they talk to babies—using a high-pitched voice, short phrases, and repetition. Dogs, like infants, respond to this tone but can also learn to recognize words. Brain imaging has shown that mothers activate similar emotional areas when looking at their child or their dog, and dogs show stronger brain responses to their primary caregiver than to unfamiliar people. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, increases in both humans and dogs during interactions, both substantiating and partially explaining this emotional connection.
New dog owners often face the same questions and stresses as new parents: Am I feeding them right? Are they happy? How do I understand their needs? This has led to the idea of “puppy blues,” a version of post-pet depression that parallels the emotional challenges faced by new parents. All these parallels suggest that for many people, raising a dog involves deeply rooted caregiving instincts similar to those used in raising a child.
Dogs have been shown to display a range of cognitive abilities that closely resemble those of young human children. Studies have shown that dogs can understand basic object permanence, differentiate shapes and colors, and even respond to unexpected outcomes in simple math-like tasks, much like infants. Overall, many of a dog’s core thinking skills are roughly on par with a 2 to 2.5-year-old child.
What makes dogs especially unique, however, is how they apply these abilities in their interactions with humans. They can recognize human facial expressions, respond to tone of voice, and even detect whether someone is paying attention to them. Their behavior in these situations—begging from attentive humans or sneaking food when ignored—can mirror the actions of young children.
Dogs also form strong emotional bonds through empathy-like responses. Some yawn when humans do, react to emotional sounds, and mirror human feelings. Like toddlers, dogs use their caregiver’s cues to navigate unfamiliar situations, showing behaviors like social referencing and referential communication—looking back and forth between an object and their owner, as if to “ask” for help. They also understand human gestures like pointing and gaze direction. All of this helps explain why dogs seem like members of the family to many people.
Dogs don’t just behave like young children in some ways—they also look like them, which may help explain why people respond to them with such affection. Humans are naturally drawn to infant-like features such as big eyes, round faces, and small noses—a reaction known as the “baby schema” effect. These features trigger caregiving instincts, and not just for human babies. Puppies and kittens can spark similar responses, leading people to perceive them as just as cute, if not more so, than adult animals.
Certain dog breeds, especially those with flat faces like pugs and French bulldogs, retain these infant-like features into adulthood. These dogs also tend to exhibit behaviors that align with their looks—less independence, more eye contact, and more reliance on humans, perhaps in part because owners often perceive them as affectionate and loving, encouraging cuddles and physical closeness much as they might with a child.
One standout expression is the famous “puppy dog eyes,” caused by a specific eyebrow movement. This feature, not found in wolves, makes dogs’ eyes appear larger and more expressive—amplifying their cuteness and possibly signaling sadness or a desire for attention. Dogs living in shelter dogs who display this expression may even be adopted more quickly, suggesting that humans are particularly sensitive to it.
Even in practical terms the relationship between dogs and their human caregivers often resembles that of a parent and child. In modern urban settings, dogs are dependent on their owners for nearly every aspect of daily life, from where they can go and when they can go there, to what and how much they eat. Most dogs can’t roam freely due to safety concerns and social norms and regulations, meaning their opportunities to explore, play, and socialize are all shaped by human decisions.
This dependency places a significant responsibility on owners to meet their dogs’ physical and emotional needs. Many go to great lengths to do so, sometimes making sacrifices in their personal lives. Surveys show that people have changed homes, ended relationships, adjusted careers, or spent large sums of money—sometimes more than they spend on their own healthcare—to prioritize their dog’s wellbeing. This level of commitment is reminiscent of the concept of “intensive parenting,” where caregivers feel pressure to invest deeply and visibly in those under their care.
Spending on pets is booming, not just for essentials like vet care but also for treats, toys and even travel, another demonstration of the trend to treat dogs as family members, deserving of both protection and emotional investment.
Legally, dogs also share similarities with children in that they rely on others to safeguard their welfare. Like children’s rights, animal welfare laws aim to protect against neglect and abuse, with human caregivers held accountable. Some researchers even argue that protecting animals may help improve outcomes for vulnerable humans, especially in households where both children and pets are present.
The authors also point to research regarding how, despite the similarities, dog-owner and child-parent relationships stil differ in meaningful ways.
Most people, for example, still prioritize human lives—especially those of children—over canine ones. In moral dilemmas, even dog owners will sometimes—although not always– choose a stranger’s life over their pet’s, and in emergencies, pets may be left behind or not receive costly medical care. Some researchers hypothesize that this may be in part because dogs have shorter lifespans, making their loss feel more expected and, to some, more replaceable.
The emotional commitment to a dog, while real, can sometimes waver under stress or practical challenges. Millions of dogs enter shelters each year, and while not all are given up by owners, a significant number are. In contrast, child abandonment is much rarer. It is also, of course, harshly punished, where pet relinquishment is not. Ultimately, even those who treat their dogs like children may still see them differently when faced with tough decisions—for example, if they see the dog’s behavior as posing a danger to human family members.
While many dog owners use parent-like language to describe their bond—calling themselves “dog moms” or referring to their pets as “fur babies”—most recognize that dogs are not the same as human children. In fact, some people choose dogs specifically because they require less time, money, and energy than kids, while still offering affection, companionship, and emotional fulfillment. Unlike children, dogs remain dependent for life and never reach independence, often preserving a permanent “child-like” role.
The human-dog bond also shifts throughout the owner’s life. A dog might be a roommate to a young adult, a child substitute in early family life, a playmate for kids, or a companion for an empty nester. Owners often assign their dogs different roles based on context: a running partner, a coworker, or even a comforting figure during tough times. Some people even describe their dog as a partner or parent figure.
Ultimately, the dog-owner bond is complex and fluid. It may resemble parenting, but also friendship, partnership, or emotional support. Rather than fitting neatly into a single category, it adapts to meet the owner’s emotional and practical needs, revealing a rich and unique connection that defies simple labels.
The authors acknowledge objections that are sometimes raised against dog/child comparisons particularly regarding misapplications of anthropomorphic interpretations.
Misplaced anthropomorphism—attributing human emotions and traits to animals that do not, in fact exist, can sometimes negatively impact dog welfare. One widely cited example is dogs expressing behaviors that spring out of boredom or anxiety, particularly when left alone. Owners may then punish them, mistakenly believing the dog knows it did something wrong. This can increase the dog’s stress and harm the bond and result in fear based behavior that the owner misinterprets as the dog “feeling guilty.” [It should be noted here, that the same mistake can be made with very young children, attributing to them aspects of theory of mind that only develop later and result in similar misplaced punishment.]
Physical affection, like cuddling or kissing, is comforting to most humans but not always welcome by dogs, and ignoring their subtle stress signals may lead to defensive behaviors or anxiety. Small, infant-like breeds are especially affected. Their appearance triggers nurturing behavior from owners, which can result in overprotection and reduced socialization opportunities. This limits their ability to cope with stress and may increase fear or aggression later in life. These breeds also face serious health issues due to selective breeding for this particular appearance.
Owners who treat their dogs as children may also unintentionally foster emotional dependency, reducing the dog’s confidence and problem-solving skills. These dogs are often more prone to separation anxiety and attention-seeking behaviors. While affection is important, understanding dogs on their own terms is essential for their long-term well-being.
Cultural context also shapes how people identify as “dog parents.” In the U.S., anthropomorphic language is common in private settings but often avoided in public, whereas in places like India, such expressions may be more socially acceptable. These differences highlight how social norms and even religious values influence the human-dog bond globally.
